What I've been reading

Last week Elder Dalin H. Oaks, a member of the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave a talk at BYU-I regarding how religious freedom is being attacked. I could go into example after example of how that is currently being manifest on a weekly, if not daily basis, but right now I won't. Obviously one of the biggest controversies to date has been Proposition 8 last year in California.

Right now, as Rob's in school for Social Work, this topic and others like it come up all the time. For me, it's difficult to swallow the fact that many BYU students adamantly protest the words of our prophets, but I won't broach that right now, either. For a while, I've been thinking that I need to learn more about why the prophets counsel as they do and what the impact on society really is when moral values slide, or are debased.

Because of this, I did an online article search (scholarly research journals—not just a google search) for gay marriage (since it’s a hot topic):

This is the article I chose to read: The Potential Impact of Homosexual Parenting on Children
Author: Lynn D. Wardle
University of Illinois Law Review -- 1997
There was a lot in the article – and I know that I can’t cover it all in one blog entry, or it would be boring to read, and probably no one would finish it.

Here is a section that stuck out to me:

Among the most important reasons why heterosexual parenting is best for children is because there are gender-linked differences in child-rearing skills; men and women contribute different (gender-connected) strengths and attributes to their children's development. Although the critical contributions of mothers to the full and healthy development of children has long been recognized, recent research validates the common understanding that fathers, as well as mothers, are extremely important for child development.

Experts in many disciplines that have recently been studying fathering have reached "surprising unanimity" in their recognition that "men nurture, interact with, and rear competently but differently from women: not worse, not better ... differently." When fathers nurture and care for their children, they do so not quite as "substitute mothers" but differently, as fathers. For example, some studies show that fathers play with their infant children more than mothers, play more physical and tactile games than mothers, and use fewer toys when playing with their children. Mothers tend to talk and play more gently with infant children. Compared to mothers, fathers reportedly appear to "have more positive perceptions of the more irritable sons and less irritable daughters," and perceive their baby daughters to be more cuddly than mothers do. Mothers smile and verbalize more to the infant than fathers do, and generally rate their infant sons as cuddlier than fathers do. Moreover, "men encouraged their children's curiosity in the solution of intellectual and physical challenges, supported the child's persistence in solving problems, and did not become overly solicitous with regard to their child's failures." One study found that six-month-old infants whose fathers were actively involved with them "had higher scores on the Bailey Test of Mental and Motor Development." Infants whose fathers spend more time with them are more socially responsive and better able to withstand stressful situations than infants relatively deprived of substantial interaction with their fathers.

Erik Erikson noted that father love and mother love are different kinds of love; fathers "love more dangerously" because their love is more "expectant, more instrumental" than that of mothers. Fathers more than mothers tend to appreciate the value of and foster child interaction with extrafamilial socializing influences, to provide instrumental leadership, to establish and enforce standards regarding unacceptable emotions and behaviors, and "absorb hostility" from children, whereas mothers provide more expressive, integrative, and nurturing childrearing, and their love is more unconditional. Fathers see themselves more often than mothers as involved in developing values and discipline in children. Fathers have a powerful influence upon academic achievement of children, and "many researchers today believe that a father's expectations regarding future roles for his child will have an influence upon the child's cognitive competence." Likewise, paternal affection is associated with adolescents having more friends, being happier in relationships, and feeling more secure, calm, and self-confident. Also, "there is a lower incidence of sexual involvement in teens from father-present homes."

Sorry, I didn’t quote in a scholar-appropriate way – it was just easier to cut and paste and not change quotes.

Much of what I read there resonates very well with “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” so it isn’t new thinking to me, but I’m grateful to see it in print, in scholarly journals. I particularly liked this part of the article because to me, it simply points out the differences a father and mother provide, as well as the need for both.

While the prophet and other leaders of our church are older, that doesn’t mean that they are out of touch or old-fashioned. I do believe that they are ahead of the studies sometimes, and that when they speak as the prophets and council us that they are doing so with wisdom, authority, and knowledge—meaning as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that we need to listen and be believing, or at the very least, pray for help to believe.